Have you found your soulmate in horse form?

Riders can spend decades looking for their “heart horse”. Some would say there’s only one out there for you, while others believe you can have many heart horses. This horse is the one that will or has changed your life. Once you’ve found them, you’ve struck gold!

Building a relationship with any horse can take time. Some of these heart horses will require even more work. Because let’s face it, the best learning is often achieved through our struggles. Many heart horses start off as difficult, but once their person begins to truly listen the relationship they form is incredible. Remember, good things take time and effort.

Connecting with Your Heart Horse

Building A Relationship 

First, you have to truly want a good relationship with your horse. It has to be built on mutual respect and understanding. It’s not as simple as, ‘I feed you, now you owe me’. You should be focused on enjoying your time together. Your visits should be a combination of riding mixed with things your horse likes too, such as grooming sessions, hand grazing, and enrichment activities. Too often, equestrians focus all of their barn time on riding and neglect those other aspects. This is especially easy when you board and the horse’s care is done for you. 


Now that you’ve made the commitment to work with your horse, you’ll need to learn how they communicate. Your horse may not use words, but they “say” quite a bit through their body language. You can find a book that outlines some basics. It’s even more helpful to spend time observing your horse in the herd. How does the alpha horse behave? Observe their ears, head position, body, legs, tail, etc.…


It can be helpful to understand that your horse craves a leader. This will allow them to relax and feel at ease in your presence. They’ll be focused on you and your requests. This is still a partnership though, and it’s essential you don’t abuse your power. You should always be fair and patient with your horse. Furthermore, you shouldn’t allow your horse to cross the boundaries that you set. For example, it’s not recommended to allow your horse to scratch their head on you. They’ve entered your personal space and, in a way, have disrespected you.


As a rider and horse handler, you should strive to be your best version. Things like bringing your work stress to the barn or yelling at your horse can be really damaging. You have to remember that horses can feel your energy and tension. If you’re stressed or anxious, it can make them feel that way. It’s difficult to enjoy your time together when everyone is on edge. It can be helpful to write down some positive affirmations and have them posted in the barn or your car. 

Connecting with Your Heart Horse

Give yourself plenty of time to connect with your horse. It’ll be hard to know if they’re truly your heart horse until you give your relationship with them a chance. Horses are sensitive beings with many emotions. If you open your heart to them, they’ll do the same in time.

Connecting with Your Heart Horse

Love this blog post? We think you will enjoy The Definition of a Heart Horse by Emily Fought.

Emily Fought

Emily Fought discovered her passion for horses early on in life. When she isn't writing about them, you can find her in the barn riding. Although Emily's background is in dressage, she enjoys cross-training and is an avid trail rider. She resides in Northeastern Ohio with her husband and small dog. Together, they own and operate Humblewood Farm. Emily not only writes for YourHorseFarm.com but CowgirlMagazine.com as well!